http://sfbulldog.com/alexandra Sun, 01 Jan 2012 13:37:29 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en when I get back from Cancun. NAH, NO I WON’T. That was back in May. And anyway worrying’s not my thing. Full-bore balls-out depression is more my style. Why fart around with “what ifs” when you can just curl yourself into a glazed doughnut and lie around eating yourself up? Worrying leads ... http://sfbulldog.com/alexandra/2011/12/31/ill-worry-about-it/ Well, you will, bitch. EVERY DAY, EVERY NIGHT OF YOUR LIFE you’ll be missing something. How can you not? No one can live life to the fullest, whatever the hell that means anyway. It’s something that’s subject to everyone’s own definition. I’m just saying, you can’t do it all. You can strive ... http://sfbulldog.com/alexandra/2011/12/31/what-if-i-miss-something/ for the world’s largest vagina YOU MIGHT FIND IT HEREor here. If you’re searching on the 'net, that is, you may be led to my Flickr shot of a hollow, fallen tree at Sequoia National Park in the Sierra Nevada, (Yer lookin' a little green around the gills, gal, might want to ... http://sfbulldog.com/alexandra/2011/12/20/if-youre-searching/ if I’m lucid enough to review my life, perhaps the most pleasant recollection I will dwell on is the autumn afternoon, orange northern light slanting into the room, I was gently awakened from a nap on a couch in Delsbo, Sweden by a cascade of diamonds falling over me, aka Rachmaninoff’s ... http://sfbulldog.com/alexandra/2011/10/11/on-my-deathbed/ Sixty Things to Do Before You’re Sixty SOMEONE ON FACEBOOK referred to some things she'd accomplished for a project “60 B4 60,” which I interpreted as a bucket list, assuming you kick it at age 60. "Starting my 60 B4 60 list. So far, I've got the ping pong table, the fire ... http://sfbulldog.com/alexandra/2011/05/31/60-b4-60/ April is the coolest month BECAUSE IT PAVES THE WAY for the darling buds of May. Before you know it June will be busting out all over. I'm housesitting a mass of hair concealing a cat named Oliver, overjoyed to escape the leaning tower of chaos that is my own place as ... http://sfbulldog.com/alexandra/2011/04/30/crikey-now-im-running-out-of-april/ We forget things. YOU KNOW—NAMES, FACES, PANTS.” But the $10 “How Could I Forget Kit,” from a company incomprehensibly called Yes to Carrots, available on board Virgin American Flight 744 San Francisco to Seattle, can provide you with “everything you need to look and smell fabulous.” But when the top story tonight ... http://sfbulldog.com/alexandra/2011/03/31/it-happens-to-the-best-of-us/ Gypped out of two or three days of it by calendrical machinations over the course of human history, I find myself facing March in approximately three hours. The first of the month is always a time to pull myself up by my bootstraps. Too bad I can’t find my boots. I ... http://sfbulldog.com/alexandra/2011/02/28/im-running-out-of-february/ My city, San Francisco, is Noir City. I LIVE THERE, HERE, IN NOIR CITY. And in Noir City, when a man in a long black overcoat sneaks up behind you, grasps your shoulders and whispers in your ear, “I’ve been following you…” your hackles rise, your cockles cock, your muscles tense, your ... http://sfbulldog.com/alexandra/2011/01/23/ive-been-following-you/ The man saved my life! HE IS ONE OF SEVERAL DEAD MEN I am in love with. Dead men are so much less demanding than the live ones, and in your dreams, they do anything you want them to and never challenge you with reality. The man in question I HAVE BEEN in a major ... http://sfbulldog.com/alexandra/2011/01/18/leave-it-to-gustav-mahler/